I just wanna cry. But I can't.

Yesterday, 5st August, 2015, my old friend died at 21. He has lungs cancer. According to his father and his doctors, he has a rare type of cancer in his scapula. He got a bulge in his bone in fasting month last year (approx. June 2014). It was a tumor and got a surgical operation. But the bulge is growing faster, faster than he imagine. Tumor has metastasized in his left lung, make him hard to breathe, sit, eat bring his bag, go to college, and hangout with his friends. His family has done their best to cure him; radiotherapy, chemotherapy, even monoclonal antibody treatment in China. In May he went home (he goes to college in Bandung and his second hometown is in Malang) and when I met him for the first time since he got his therapy, I wanna cry. He was so thin, pale, and all of his hair was gone. It broke my heart so bad. I knew him since junior high, he is incredibly smart and humble. He was sick but he's still smiling, laughing out loud with us, and doing karaoke together. In May he said that he felt better and wanted to try herbal medication. As a Biology student, I told him all the plants that has anticancer factor that I know. I wanna see him get better and better. He said that he can eat more food and have some more chat with his family and his friends. He kept fighting his cancer with his utmost effort.

But that's what we call fate. In the last two weeks, his condition got worsen. His family brought him to ICU and finally he died at 02.30 A.M. And today, me with my two friends went to his funeral in Trenggalek, his first hometown. We met his parents and I can't hold my tears anymore. His mom was in an awful state, just lied in her bed and let a silent cry for her beloved son. We've lost him but I keep thinking that finally he won't feel any pain that keep him awake for 2,5 month. He's sound asleep now. He will never get that painful medication again. He has won his fight. Goodbye Hannan Prasasta Widyadana, we hope that we can see you again someday.